I can’t tell you why. So if you’ve seen the original film, you already know the rundown: mysterious circumstances surrounding a U.S. ambassador (Liev Schreiber) lead him to believe that his young son (Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick) may be the antichrist. This … Continue reading Redux, I Guess – The Omen (2006)
Bustin’ should make you feel better than this. So, an ancient artifact has surfaced, and if its contained evil gets out, it would mean a second ice age for the world. I suppose it’s more of a matter of “when” … Continue reading Getting Colder – Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
You know where you are? So this is about a group of people who all wake up free-falling into the jungle. They have parachutes that mostly deploy as they should, and they are armed with what they had before they … Continue reading Home Is Where the Hunt Is – Predators (2010)
Time to die? So this story is about a vampire (Jaime Vadell). He’s been around for 250 years on different continents and has decided that can be enough time on this Earth. So why can’t he manage to leave this world behind?  I … Continue reading (Blood) Lust for Life – El Conde (2023)
Can’t wake up. So this is about a young cellist (Chloë Grace Moretz) who is waiting to hear if she got into Juilliard. Her life changes in an instant when her entire family gets into a very serious car accident. While comatose and … Continue reading Guitar and Cello – If I Stay (2014)
Par for the current course. So the powers of Captain Marvel (Brie Larson), Ms. Marvel (Iman Vellani), and Captain Rambeau (Teyonah Parris) have all become entangled, which leads to instant teleportation switches between the three of them whenever any of … Continue reading Marvel’s… – The Marvels (2023)
Hi Barbie. So Barbie (Margot Robbie) lives a perfect life in Barbieland. It’s all sunshine and rainbows with no problems until she has an existential crisis one day. There is only one way to fix this: journey into the real … Continue reading Barbie Girl in the Real World – Barbie (2023)
Election time. So Grindelwald (Mads Mikkelsen) is on the rise to power. He seeks to destroy all Muggles, and what better way to accomplish that than to become a magical elected official? He wants the position of Supreme Leader of … Continue reading Dying Breath – Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)
Forcing it. So what is this about? Good question. Grindelwald (Johnny Depp) is on the rise, and Dumbledore (Jude Law) enlists the help of Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne). Newt will need all the help he can get since Dumbledore cannot … Continue reading Crimes of Failed Franchising – Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
It all ends here. So picking right back up where we left off, Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) and company are still on their quest to destroy Horcruxes. They must return to Hogwarts to finish the job, but this is no … Continue reading The Showdown – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)
Critic for Hire 