Writer’s note: If you can somehow watch this completely cold, that is the way to go. The short of it is that the trailer and marketing give away too much, and I’ll discuss that further in this review. I’m giving … Continue reading Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer – Abigail (2024)
Ogres are like onions. So this is about an ogre named Shrek (Mike Myers). He only wants to be left alone in his swamp, so, naturally, he can seldom find a moment of peace and solitude from the outside world. … Continue reading All Star – Shrek (2001)
Out for vengeance. So this is about a young man (Dev Patel) who fights in a monkey mask in an underground boxing club in India. He’s incentivized by extra cash to lose, but he has his sights on something worth … Continue reading Release the Beast – Monkey Man (2024)
Suffering is love. So this is about a young woman named Cecilia (Sydney Sweeney) who travels from the United States to Italy to take her vows and become a nun. Nothing weird about that, right? Well, this is a convent … Continue reading Dark Convent – Immaculate (2024)
Divided we fall. So in the near future, the United States has been politically fractured and has entered into a civil war. The end may be in sight, and rebel forces are close to descending on the White House. This … Continue reading The Road to D.C. – Civil War (2024)
Almost paradise. So this is about an ex-UFC fighter (Jake Gyllenhaal). He doesn’t have a lot going on in his life at the current moment, so he takes a security job at a dive bar in the Florida Keys. Little … Continue reading Toughest Guy in the Bar – Road House (2024)
And with that, I have completed my watch of all the Omen movies. It’s a solid series, and with the exception of the inspired prequel that is currently in theaters, the franchise follows the standard trajectory of most horror films … Continue reading Shooting Down the Omen
Creating fear. So this is about a young woman (Nell Tiger Free) who travels to Rome in the early 1970s. She is there to take her vows and devote her life to the church. There is something sinister at foot, … Continue reading Carlita’s Way – The First Omen (2024)
I can’t tell you why. So if you’ve seen the original film, you already know the rundown: mysterious circumstances surrounding a U.S. ambassador (Liev Schreiber) lead him to believe that his young son (Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick) may be the antichrist. This … Continue reading Redux, I Guess – The Omen (2006)
Evil gets adopted. So you may have thought that the threat of the antichrist was stopped once and for all after The Final Conflict, but you would be mistaken. A young girl named Delia (Asia Vieira) has been adopted by … Continue reading Inverted Crosses – Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)
Critic for Hire 