That quiet horror. So when a couple of explorers were poking around in uncharted caves, they accidentally unleashed droves upon droves of homicidal bat creatures that hunt by sound. This is about a deaf girl (Kiernan Shipka) and her family, … Continue reading A Silent Place – The Silence (2019)
Hospital romance. So this is about two teenagers (Haley Lu Richardson, Cole Sprouse). They both have cystic fibrosis which means that their bodies produce too much mucus. It also means that they cannot come into physical contact with other people … Continue reading Another Sick Teenager Movie – Five Feet Apart (2019)
No one can hear you yawn. So this is about an astronaut (Brad Pitt). The Earth is in serious danger due to power surges coming from Neptune, so he is recruited to try and communicate with his long lost father … Continue reading Daddy Issues in Space – Ad Astra (2019)
One for the genre fans. So everybody knows Jason, Freddy, and Michael, but what really goes on behind the scenes in crafting a legend? This is about a documentary crew that has the most exclusive access out there: they get … Continue reading Paradise Lost? – Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)
Quick fight. So spoiler alert if you haven’t seen Fallen Kingdom, but dinosaurs are now freely roaming North America. This is one of the first confrontations between man and dinosaur stateside, perhaps more will follow? Now I consider the first … Continue reading Camp Site Showdown – Battle at Big Rock (2019)
Practically unwatchable. So this is about two con artists, one small-time (Rebel Wilson) and the other is in the big leagues (Anne Hathaway). A bet is made to see who can successfully con a mark (Alex Sharp) out of a … Continue reading Just Rotten – The Hustle (2019)
Back to Derry. So twenty-seven years have passed since the Losers dealt with Pennywise (Bill Skarsgård). Everybody has moved on and moved away… well, everybody except for Mike (Isaiah Mustafa), that is. When he sees similar events start to happen … Continue reading The Long Homecoming – It Chapter Two (2019)
Doing it for yourself. Meet Brittany (Jillian Bell). She is known in her circle of friends as being the funny fat girl, but she decides that isn’t who she wants to be after a checkup at the doctor’s office. She … Continue reading Small Steps – Brittany Runs a Marathon (2019)
Forming the bond. So this is about an inmate named Roman (Matthias Schoenarts). He doesn’t have much in the way of friends or even family, but he is given the opportunity to participate in an in-house rehabilitation program involving training … Continue reading Prison Horse – The Mustang (2019)
Sequelitis. So in case you couldn’t gather from the title, there’s a lot going on with separate characters in this installment, but since Max (Patton Oswalt) is technically the original main character, he’s dealing with a lot of separation anxiety. … Continue reading The Many Subplots of Pets AKA – The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019)
Critic for Hire 