Legendary. Set during the Civil War, this is the story about three men (Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Eli Wallach) who are all on paths that are about to cross. They’re after $200,000 that is buried in a graveyard, but … Continue reading The Ecstasy of Gold – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
Good Lord. So this is about a Rottweiler police dog named Max (Ludacris). He is (somehow) used to working alone, and he most definitely doesn’t want to team up with an FBI agent (Will Arnett). But when a baby panda gets… … Continue reading What in Tarnation – Show Dogs (2018)
Bleakness in the ordinary. So this is about a priest (Ethan Hawke) who is getting ready to celebrate his small church’s 250th anniversary. As the big day approaches, everything starts to deteriorate: his relationships around him, his health, and his … Continue reading Woeful Reverend – First Reformed (2017)
People love their Shark Week. So when doing research in the Mariana Trench, it is discovered that it is actually deeper than originally thought. While exploring the deep, a research team (through very tight science) manages to awaken and unleash … Continue reading Statham vs. Shark – The Meg (2018)
Freshening the genre. So this is about a happy couple, Rachel Chu and Nick Young (Constance Wu, Henry Golding). Nick is set to be in his friend’s wedding party back in Singapore, so he figures that now would be the … Continue reading The Return of the Romantic Comedy – Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
Somebody had to domesticate the wolf. In prehistoric times, a boy (Kodi Smit-McPhee) is looking to earn his right of passage and become a man. After a hunting incident, he is left for dead, but is still very much alive. … Continue reading How to Train Your Dire Wolf – Alpha (2018)
Come and go. So this is about an American intelligence task force headed by James Silva (Mark Wahlberg). They’ve got a mission: to escort a man with sensitive information (Iko Uwais) 22 miles to a plane so they can leave … Continue reading Fidget Wrists – Mile 22 (2018)
Rubbed wrong. So this is about a mistress (Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz). She and her lover (Kevin Janssens) have traveled via helicopter to his remote house in the middle of the desert for a weekend getaway. When two of his … Continue reading Peyote E.R. Doctor – Revenge (2017)
Back to the toy box. So the Kaiju were defeated in the first Pacific Rim… but it appears that those monsters were just the tip of the iceberg. Someone or something is trying to summon them back to Earth, and … Continue reading More Robots vs. More Monsters – Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)
In your face. So this is the story about a man by the name of Ron Stallworth (John David Washington). He is the first black police officer in a small Colorado town, but he has his sights set high: he … Continue reading Fight the Power – BlacKkKlansman (2018)
Critic for Hire 