Dueling stories. So back in World War II, the Nazis stole countless pieces of art from the countries they invaded. Based on a true story, this is about Jewish refugee Maria Altmann (Helen Mirren) going head to head with the … Continue reading Trip to the Museum – Woman in Gold (2015)
My kind of sci-fi. So this is about a programmer (Domhnall Gleeson), getting the opportunity to meet the CEO of the company he works for (Oscar Isaac). He makes plans to spend the week with him at his expansive estate … Continue reading Passing the Turing Test – Ex Machina (2015)
A movie that’s destined to be played at 2 AM on the Syfy channel. So this is about a pharmaceutical company, working to develop a vaccine. Of course, the only way to perfect this is to treat people with the … Continue reading What’s a Production Budget? – Toxin (2015)
Like nails on a chalkboard. So this is about a furniture store owner (Patrick Wilson) who has apparently married a superficial robot (Katherine Heigl), because all she cares about is having the storybook perfect life, and none of the surrounding details … Continue reading Katherine Heigl Is a Terrible, Terrible Person – Home Sweet Hell (2015)
You’re still better off just rewatching Kill Bill. So Thaddeus (RZA) is wandering the Earth like Caine when the river takes him by chance to a silver mining town that is ripe for revolution. There is a corrupt evil overlord … Continue reading Hip Hop Jiu Jitsu – The Man with the Iron Fists 2 (2015)
Pretty pedestrian. So back in 1983, some desperate men decided that it was in their best interest to kidnap beer tycoon Freddy Heineken (Anthony Hopkins), so as to collect a handsome ransom. This is a rendition of that true story. … Continue reading The Beer Man Abduction – Kidnapping Mr. Heineken (2015)
Sloppy execution. So this is a universe where there is a gigantic company that has built an entire city that utilizes highly realistic androids so as to help people fulfill whatever seedy fantasies they may have. Want to rob a … Continue reading Do Androids Dream of Electric Crime? – Vice (2015)
Trash city. So this is about a teacher in a failing marriage (Jennifer Lopez). She’s trying to make it work as best she can, being that they have a son and all, but a big wrench is thrown into her plan … Continue reading I Love Your Mother’s Cookies – The Boy Next Door (2015)
Consistent chuckles. So this is about a friendless man (Josh Gad) who is getting married. They are about a week away from the big day when he has to figure out what he’s going to do for the male portion … Continue reading Budding Bromance – The Wedding Ringer (2015)
The revenge of the Tyrannosaur. So Jurassic Park has failed, and everybody has come to terms with it. But what wasn’t previously disclosed is that there is an adjacent island that was used for breeding where the dinosaurs are now … Continue reading We Have to Go Back! – The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
Critic for Hire 