Down a limb. Here’s a little déjà vu if you read my last review: this is about a surfer girl in Hawaii, Bethany Hamilton (AnnaSophia Robb). Surfing is what drives this girl, and it makes up a huge part of … Continue reading Jesus Take the Board – Soul Surfer (2011)
It’s never too late to make your mark. So this is about a 74-year-old lizard named Leo (Adam Sandler), the pet of a fifth-grade class. When he learns that the average life expectancy of his species is 75 years, he starts to … Continue reading The Lizard Mentor – Leo (2023)
A chocolatier’s origin. So everybody knows the name Willy Wonka (Timothée Chalamet), but do you know the story of how he had to outthink and outmaneuver the chocolate cartel to get his name established? This is that tale. Now, this movie initially seemed … Continue reading Young Willy – Wonka (2023)
They’re dying to meet you. So this is about a single mom (Rosario Dawson). She and her son (Chase Dillon) move into a sprawling New Orleans mansion, but they don’t find out until after the fact that it is haunted. … Continue reading Always Room for One More – Haunted Mansion (2023)
Election time. So Grindelwald (Mads Mikkelsen) is on the rise to power. He seeks to destroy all Muggles, and what better way to accomplish that than to become a magical elected official? He wants the position of Supreme Leader of … Continue reading Dying Breath – Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)
Forcing it. So what is this about? Good question. Grindelwald (Johnny Depp) is on the rise, and Dumbledore (Jude Law) enlists the help of Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne). Newt will need all the help he can get since Dumbledore cannot … Continue reading Crimes of Failed Franchising – Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
It all ends here. So picking right back up where we left off, Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) and company are still on their quest to destroy Horcruxes. They must return to Hogwarts to finish the job, but this is no … Continue reading The Showdown – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)
These are dark times. So we are entering the endgame and have no time for Hogwarts anymore. Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) is getting more powerful than ever. Our trio of heroes must race to destroy Horcruxes, which will weaken him, … Continue reading Into the Woods! – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
Back under the sea. So everybody knows the story: you’ve got a young and somewhat rebellious mermaid named Ariel (Halle Bailey) who yearns to explore beyond her underwater realm. When her father (Javier Bardem) denies her, she gets approached by … Continue reading Part of Your World – The Little Mermaid (2023)
The dark chapter. So Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is back at Hogwarts for his sixth year. A secondhand potions textbook comes into his possession, and it has notes and scribblings by someone who calls himself the Half-Blood Prince. It proves … Continue reading Getting Pensive – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Critic for Hire 