Kids with guns. So this is about a young African child (Abraham Attah) who loses his family. There are a number of children without parents in this unnamed country, and one commandant (Idris Elba) recruits them to become soldiers, with … Continue reading Innocence Lost – Beasts of No Nation (2015)
You can find a better use of your time. So during a 1993 high school production of a play called The Gallows, a student dies onstage due to a prop malfunction involving a noose. Twenty years later, school officials have become insensitive … Continue reading Locked in a High School – The Gallows (2015)
Fall in love. So this is the story about an eccentric business owner named Barry (Adam Sandler). Love may be in the cards for him when a woman walks into his life (Emily Watson), but will he be able to find … Continue reading Hot Lines and Frequent Flyer Miles – Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
Time for some spectacle. So this is about a helicopter pilot/rescue specialist (Dwayne Johnson). He’s great at what he does, but he’s got his work cut out for him when the state of California faces the largest chain reaction of … Continue reading The Rock vs. California – San Andreas (2015)
One for the hip hop heads. So this is a story about a young African-American self-described geek named Malcolm (Shameik Moore). He’s into 90’s hip-hop and he is attempting to get into Harvard, all the while trying to survive in the … Continue reading Slippery Slope – Dope (2015)
Nothing else like it. So this is about FBI trainee Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) who gets brought onto an open murder case for Buffalo Bill, a serial killer that skins his victims alive. Using the logic “it takes one to … Continue reading Quid Pro Quo – The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
South Boston organized crime. Based on true events, this is about Jimmy ‘Whitey’ Bulger (Johnny Depp) and how he aligned himself with FBI agent John Connolly (Joel Edgerton) to take down competing criminals, all the while running the enterprise behind the … Continue reading Alliance of Violence – Black Mass (2015)
Blegh. So the premise of this is that back in the 80’s, NASA sent a time capsule up into space. This included some video games. Some aliens took this as an act of war and have traveled to Earth 30 … Continue reading Kevin James is President… – Pixels (2015)
A horror movie for the dreamers. So this is about a quiet suburban town. A number of the high schoolers start to have similar dreams about a man with a disfigured face and knives for fingers. When children start to … Continue reading One, Two… – A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Stupid action glory. So this is about a hitman who is at the end of his rope (Jason Statham). He has been injected with a synthetic Chinese drug that is affecting his heart rate. Bottom line: if he stops, he dies, which … Continue reading Epinephrine Shot – Crank (2006)
Critic for Hire 