I guess this is what I get for playing horror movie roulette on Halloween. Okay, so it is high school reunion time. Before the big event, a group of friends get together to break the ice at the lavish California home of one of their own. It kind of puts a damper on things when a masked killer in a graduation gown shows up and starts picking them off one by one in a way that is appropriate for their high school superlative. I’m not even going to build up to how I feel about Most Likely to Die: this is pretty close to the bottom of the barrel. It’s so bad, it is a shoe-in for my bottom ten of the year. It does nothing well, it does nothing for the genre, and it is just a stale piece of trash that you should actively avoid.
There’s no way around it: it’s just a failure of a slasher movie.
When I say that this is bad, I mean that I don’t have a single positive to say about it other than the fact that it is only a merciful 80 minutes, which is hardly a compliment. The actors in this are all atrocious, and the biggest name featured here is Gary Busey’s son. Nobody walks away from this looking like they have any business working in movies or even daytime television, for that matter. The horror movie logic in this is weak, and people keep splitting up at this time of crisis for no apparent reason; seriously, the only explanation is that this takes place in the same universe as The Cabin in the Woods and everybody has been gassed up to their eyeballs. It also sucks from a storytelling standpoint; there is so much unnecessary exposition for some reason, and it drags down whatever efficiency this movie had going for it. You have bitter characters that you never care about, and they are all focused on high school frolics that are a decade old. It seems silly that they aren’t over it by this point with their careers and the like, and this movie has no legs to stand on.
It’s clichéd and boring at the same time.
Where I threw in the towel with this is exactly the same place anybody who likes the genre would: the kills. Even with all of the shortcomings this movie has, I could at least give this a low recommendation for genre lovers IF the kills were cool. They’re not. They are goofy more than anything, and they’re going to get an eye roll out of you, not a scare or a thrill. Unless you are curious to see just how many ways you can kill somebody with a graduation cap, you should steer far clear of this, as it is a horror movie that you will want to shout at the screen in the worst way possible.
Most Likely to Die (2015) *
– Critic for Hire