The Cameo Show – Zoolander 2 (2016)

It took willpower to finish this one out.  So just like in real life, 15 years have passed after the events of Zoolander 1.  Derek (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson) are lured out of their reclusive retirement when models start turning up dead, and it is up to them to unravel a conspiracy.  I thought the first Zoolander was decent, but I did not love it to the degree that most do.  It is not in my rotation of movies that I watch frequently, or really even hardly ever.  While you can make arguments for it or against it, at least Zoolander 1 had a point behind it, taking a satirical look at the fashion industry.  There is no reason or concept behind Zoolander 2, this was only made by actors trying to capitalize on a property, milking it for every last penny that it is worth.

1They missed the boat by about a decade.

In this writer’s opinion, there is nothing worse than a comedy that isn’t funny, and that is exactly what this is.  Even in my recently viewed green screen mess Gods of Egypt, I was at least having a good time laughing at its schlockiness.  With comedies that have jokes that constantly bomb, you just get tired and bored really quick, and I struggled through this as best I could.  To give you an idea of how misplaced this movie is, this starts of with making a Justin Bieber joke, a trope in itself that is outdated.  They just didn’t have any good ideas for this, and let me break it down for you and tell you what this is: this is just random scenes in a loosely connected story where they are hoping to distract you with how many cameos they have.  It’s not funny, it’s not clever, and it doesn’t even make sense for the plot: actors who just happened to be nearby while they were shooting this show up for two minutes, just long enough to allow you to place their face, and as soon as that is done, it is on to the next one, rinse, repeat.

2With more cameos than Anchorman, even Benedict Cumberbatch doesn’t get out unscathed.

If you can’t tell yet, I do not like this movie.  Nobody was asking for this, and it shows with the box office returns.  The plot pulls off the impressive feat of being complicated and anorexic thin at the same time, and it never stops being lame.  Every single joke doesn’t land, and it is almost like the moronic characters featured here penned the script.  I can’t stress enough how much this was done for the money and that was it, and everything here is repetitive to the point of being boring.  I don’t have a single good thing to say about this, and this would have been too late if this came out in 2006.

Zoolander 2 (2016) *

– Critic for Hire

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