I’m Not a Witch, I’m Your Wife – The Witch (2015)

New England horror.  So this is about a family in the 1630’s, a time where accusations of witchcraft were running rampant.  They are trying to make it on their own in secluded fashion, outside of the community, but with allegations of black magic being made within the family, it is sure to be difficult.  Now if you’ve been following me for some time, you already know that I can always get on board with a quality horror film.  It’s a genre that can wow you with highs and shock you with lows, so it is always nice when somebody puts together something original.  The Witch is just that: one of the most novel horror movies you can take the time to watch, and it is something that is sure to give you chills.

2And there’s this evil rabbit… just go with it.

Now it isn’t anything new to take a horror story and place it in olden times; you need not look further then Frankenstein or Dracula to see this occur, even outside of the medium of film, but I’ve never seen a movie quite like The Witch.  I’m certain that there have been movies about the witches in the time of Salem’s infamy, but for my money, I don’t think there has ever been a single good product, so now we’ve got one.  It is art horror, really, and it is well shot at every turn.  The production values are all there, and The Witch features this score that is very reminiscent of Jonny Greenwood’s efforts in There Will Be Blood.  This is also the movie that also has the gall to actually make everybody speak in old time dialect, and while that is something I appreciate, it does lead to my only real nitpick here; while you can always tell what is going on and what is being communicated, I lost a lot of dialogue in translation, simply due to the fact that I don’t have an ear for old school speech patterns.

1If you throw in too many “thous” and “thees”, you usually start to lose me.

The Witch is a creepy and unnerving little horror film that is just filled to the brim with sinister vibes.  They got some really good child actors to play these parts, and they really do make the movie along with adult actor Ralph Ineson.  Director Robert Eggers knows how to pay attention to detail in all the right places, and you never at any point get bored with the story.  I don’t know if I would go so far to put this in the top five horror movies from the last five years, but it’s definitely good enough to fall in this critic’s top ten.

The Witch (2015) ****

– Critic for Hire

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