I don’t know what else you would be expecting from a title like this. So this is about the psychotic Ricky Caldwell (Bill Mosely) who wakes up from a coma. He’s got murder on the mind, and is hellbent on pursuing a blind woman that he shares a psychic connection with (Samantha Scully). As stated previously, I am very far behind on the number of movies I have to catch up on and write feature length reviews on. The reason behind this is because of my Oscar crunch, which means I have been watching a lot of high quality movies, so when something as unmemorable as Silent Night, Deadly Night III got thrown into the mix, I have to admit that the majority of my memory is faded when it comes to specifics. I am having a lot of difficulty remembering this movie that I watched over a couple of cold ones while friends were in town for the Christmas holiday, but I do remember that a whole lot of nothing happens.
But hey, everybody had an okay time, so who am I to judge my friend’s unique taste in movies.
Now you can call me presumptuous for thinking that I can just jump on for the third installment without knowing the running story from the first two Silent Night, Deadly Night movies, but you know, I’ve got gall like that. It’s not something that I typically do, but it’s not like I missed that much, honestly. It is not long before the harps start to play and we get flashbacks from the first movie. Seriously, so much of this is stock footage and a white room, and it is as schlocky as you would imagine a movie having this long of a title would be. Even the basic stuff is ineptly executed, like knowing when to cut a shot, or figuring out how a scene should play out so as to lead into the next.
Or casting an actress that looks so similar to the lead actress, that it takes a few scenes to realize it is different characters.
My whole point against this is ultimately the reason why anyone would choose to watch this. When you shed everything else away, the whole purpose behind watching this is to see some cool kills. Silent Night, Deadly Night III can’t even get that right, and there is nothing you walk away retaining after the end credits roll. The only thing that I can even actively recall from this is a bizarre one-liner at the end where one of our heroes asks the killer, “Is it live or is it Memorex?” before attempting to execute our antagonist. So much of this clunky film is just waiting for something to happen, and you are going to keep checking your watch, because this movie is almost entirely padding.
Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out! (1989) *
– Critic for Hire