Adults at Camp – Camp Takota (2014)

Getting in touch with my inner woman.  So this is about a young female (Grace Helbig) whose entire life comes crashing down in one day, as she catches her fiance cheating the same day that she loses her publishing job.  She figures that the only way to make progress is by regressing, and she decides to return to the camp where she has fond childhood memories.  She finds her inner-self by connecting with long lost friends that are now camp counselors.  This is the second movie in my saga of having to make due with whatever is available on Netflix streaming, due to my computer biting the dust.  I didn’t know anything about this other than it got released in the calendar year of 2014, and speaking from experience, you can be pleasantly surprised stumbling upon movies this way.  This is not one of times.

takota1I’ve never seen The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants or the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, but this movie is exactly how I picture them to be.

This movie plays like it was written by somebody who desperately wants to be Diablo Cody.  This style of writing is hard to do effectively, and even Cody herself isn’t always successful; I think we can all agree how charming Juno is, but has anybody else seen the atrociousness that is Jennifer’s Body?  It’s something that leaves an awful taste in your mouth, and while Camp Takota isn’t quite as memorably unpleasant, it’s still nothing to brag about.  There’s just no life behind any of the lines, and while the acting does leave quite a bit to be desired, I think it all comes back to how poorly written the script is.  It’s awkward, tries too hard to be cool, and like Will Smith, it utilizes slang that’s about a decade too late.  It’s predictable, and you can map out how this entire movie is going to play out after the first six minutes.

takota2And it also doesn’t help that these characters are mildly infuriating.

Yes, I acknowledge that this wasn’t made with the 28-year-old male in mind, but even for its intended audience, I still think you can do better than this; even if you watch chick flicks to say colloquialisms like “Yes, girlfriend!”, and “Girl power!”, these characters are too stuck in arrested development to be likable.  There are montages all over the place and they just come across as being lazy and unnecessary, and they even jump the shark in their own movie by fabricating conflict at the nth hour in the third act by having antagonists looking to buy the camp appear completely out of the blue.  This could have had 20 minutes shaved off and still have been too long, and this does nothing but affirm how much I hate the outdoors.

Camp Takota (2014) **

– Critic for Hire

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