Allow me to introduce myself. My name is John, and I watch a lot of movies. It’s easily my favorite pastime. And what is one of the best things that complements that? Talking about movies. You can have a discourse with a total stranger and immediately form an instant connection when you realize that you both share a mutual love of Shane Black’s darkly hilarious Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
If you haven’t seen this movie yet, stop reading immediately and fix it. I will still be here when you get back.
I like to review movies. I keep it short and to the point, something akin to what you would read in a newspaper, usually somewhere between 200 – 400 words. Up until this time, I had been using the application Flixster on Facebook as a vehicle to share my reviews. It has always been a highly unreliable app, and once they made the decision to make it impossible for anybody other than myself to be able to see my reviews, I called it quits. So that brings us here, where I have 100% control of my content.
I am by no means any sort of professional, and by that I mean nobody pays me to do this (yet?). I get enjoyment out of compiling “best of” lists like any other critic, and while I may not see as many movies as people who get press passes, I try to see at least 130 movies released any given calendar year. I am not picky about the movies I watch so as to always be expanding my palate, and I give literally everything a chance, which is how I come to find my favorite type of movie: the diamond in the rough.
This is exactly how you find out about gems that you can sell as “Rear Window with a Big Foot”.
In addition, I am also working my way through the list, “1,001 Movies You Must See Before You Die” with my life-affirming fiancé, Katie… only that’s not nearly enough movies. We’re working off the compilation list, as films are constantly being added and dropped as annual updates get made, which puts our total number of movies to watch currently at 1,154 (but that number will grow with the next edition). We watch at least three movies off the list every month, so having already watched 51 movies, if we maintain current trajectory, we’ll be due to finish somewhere around the year 20xx.
Just to give you a taste on what movies I tend to enjoy, my favorite genres are Dark Comedy, Sci-Fi and Western, and a few of my favorite directors are Darren Aronofsky, Paul Thomas Anderson and the Coen brothers. And just to give you a true baseline, my five favorite movies 2008 onward (the year that I started meticulously tracking my movies and keeping lists) are Fish Story, Cloverfield, The Dark Knight, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and The Wrestler.
A hipster pick, a non-traditional pick, a safe pick, a severely underrated pick and a critical darling. I must be pretty cool.
But yes, bottom line here is that I watch a lot of movies. And I review them. And so I am not just talking to myself like Gollum, this is the place I will be putting them. Reviews to follow shortly.
– Critic for Hire